Montage #21, presented by Allan Burns, is now up here on The Haiku Foundation website. This week’s theme is “Birthdays II” and features the work of Lee Gurga, Gary Hotham & Jim Kacian.
rows of corn
stretch to the horizon—
sun on the thunderhead
— Gurga
fog.
sitting here
with the mountains
— Hotham
clouds seen
through clouds
seen through
— Kacian
{ 7 comments }
Hi, Jim, Boy, you always know exactly what to say.
I’ve been wrestling with just how to present these issues without putting myself in it…I’m in it enough as it is! believe me. Haiku always seems to me to offer a way out… a new way to do these things. I realize that I have to let enough of the human element come in in order that people can identify with it…but have to do it in such a way that is #1) not a medical or scientific presentation , or #2) so emotionally charged that the
“way out” is closed. I’m hoping that a little fresh air might clear my mind a little and I appreciate your comments. You have always pointed me in the right direction…it just takes me awhile to make out where the path is.
In gratitude, Merrill
hi merrill
i think this an excellent set of circumstances for haibun. some description of the chrysalis in its setting, followed by an oblique but telling poem about the lack of oxygen in your circumstances, might just capture it. conversely, a bit of self-revelation, followed by a chrysalis poem, might also do. this second sounds in my telling to be the more “normal” or “emblematic” way but it’s also less fresh. of course it’s all going to come down to what you actually write. i think there’s opportunity here for you, and i’m looking forward to seeing what you make of it. and thanks, by the way, for your kind words on these poems.
j
Dear Gabi, Thanks a million. I have been trying so hard to find something in nature that could say it… does the caterpillar/feel this airless/in the chrysalis? or to use the scientific phrase?
obtect pupa-/the caterpillar gives up/it’s need for air
I thought the second way of saying it was better, but using the scientific name isn’t really a good way to connect with general understanding. And last night sort of gave up the whole enterprise as being just too emotion laden to continue. I’ve been trying to express it in simple matter of fact ways devoid of the emotion… so I thank you very much. I will have to check back with your site and look up the “star festival”…
In joy..In gratitude Merrill
star festival (that is Tanabata in Japanese as a kigo)
star festival -
my impaired breathing
tonight again
for you, Merrill
Gabi
Notice the simplicity of each of these haiku. That’s what I have such a hard time with in my own. Sometimes I think the Western mind sees things with much greater emphasis…losing immediately the simplicity of things. I find myself lacking a vocabulary for such things and keep trying to be still long enough to let the event occur… Just tonight it is one of those breathless nights and I have impaired breathing and there is no word for this to bring it down to the simplicity of fact. It gets caught up in all sorts of things and feelings. So when I come to these I stop and try to bring myself to that still spot. Thanks.
Many thanks, mate!
I wonder whether you or anyone else might be interested in discussing haiku from this selection? Some all-time favorites of mine here….
What an excellent selection of haiku by a wonderful group of poets. Thank you once again Allan for another instalment in this fascinating series.
Ron Moss