Headset (((two)))

by Scott Metz on January 31, 2010






Headsets addresses the psychological aspect of literary craft as it applies to haiku and senryu. Poetry elicits emotion and associations from readers by means of subjectively potent rhetorical devices. Classic psychotherapy questions will be asked: “What’s happening here?” and “How do you (might one) feel about that?” Readers are invited to examine their responses, and poets to explore their purposes.

Headsets is overseen by Paul Watsky.






Headset

(((two)))


More About Mood

BY Paul Watsky


Sometimes we read poetry in order to experience a soothing sense of refuge from life’s stresses. We want a gentle swoop downward to darkness on extended wing rather than rage, rage, against the dying of the light. Haiku which provide conventional images, rhythms, and diction, even perhaps a nice cliché, affirm that the world’s peaceful rituals and nostalgic consolations remain at hand, comfortably unchanged, e.g. Southard’s bland


In the garden pool,
    dark and still, a stepping-stone
        releases the moon

(The Haiku Anthology, 3rd edition, p. 190)


or Virgilio’s


after father’s wake
the long walk in the moonlight
to the darkened house

(p. 263)


Dark and still, darkened house—no surprises or discords here, nothing to disrupt sleep, and, as we know from scientific studies, excessive sleep disruption precipitates madness.

Although tending toward the cliché, dark and its cousins darkness and darken are venerable power words partaking of a western literary tradition that descends from Homer’s wine-dark sea and Milton’s well known description of hell in Paradise Lost, which hinges on the inspired oxymoron darkness visible:

A Dungeon horrible, on all sides round

As one great Furnace flam’d, yet from those flames

No light, but rather darkness visible

Serv’d onely to discover sights of woe . . . . (Lines 61-5)

Epic traditions, however, gradually degenerate, as exemplified by this oft-parodied opening sentence from a Bulwer–Lytton’s 1830 novel Paul Clifford: “It was a dark and stormy night; the rain fell in torrents—except at occasional intervals, when it was checked by a violent gust of wind which swept up the streets (for it is in London that our scene lies), rattling along the housetops, and fiercely agitating the scanty flame of the lamps that struggled against the darkness.”

A poet’s unmindful insertion of dark or one of its variants into a haiku can mean trouble, since many readers will be equipped not only with numerous unpredictable literary and other cultural associations, including death, ignorance, and racial stereotypes, but also idiosyncratic emotionally-charged memories of encountering the dark: scary nights in childhood, thrills at the movies, adventure while exploring caves, etc. All that dark constitutes a special challenge for haikuists, because a single clumsy word choice can wreck a short poem’s tone. In the 1999 edition of Cor van den Heuvel’s, The Haiku Anthology, from which all of the present column’s examples are drawn, dark, and its variants, appear in twenty-nine poems (see pps. 15, 30, 34, 47, 49, 71, 77, 83, 91, 96, 110, 148, 149, 173,190, 193, 195, 231, 233, 238, 241, 244, 247, 249, 250, 261, 262, 263), usually in the more conventional mode, but not glaringly cliche. Several, however, illustrate how, if carefully presented, dark still can increase a haiku’s stimulus value, its novelty.

One way to achieve this is by offering the starkest, zen-like simplicity, as with Kerouac’s

Birds singing
  in the dark
—Rainy dawn

(p. 96)

Minimalist, chiseled diction, just the “what is.” There’s no attempt to stage-manage a reader’s mood, to steer projections, except perhaps a cryptic dismembered echo of the homily It’s always darkest before the dawn.

Another way is to play traditional associations of dark off against the poem’s idiosyncratic context, as in Larry Gates’

The lights are going out
    in the museum, a fetus
        suddenly darkens

(p. 47)

An already-dead unborn child, deceptively reanimated by the lit-up exhibit case, suffers a second death. That’s heavy! as old-time stoners used to say—and certainly not conducive to restful sleep.

But such strategy also can produce humorous effects: Garry Gay’s first two lines, Snowflake’s fall/into the darkness, sets us up for a comic turn: of the tuba (p. 49) What a tomb! And what a sound. That tuba evokes an elaborate American scene: under gray skies a chilly halftime at the college or high school football game, bands parading on chilly fields. . . .

Then there’s the ironic approach, as exemplified by two of Alan Pizzarelli’s non-standard pieces:

a spark
falls to the ground
          darkens

that’s it

(p. 148)

The blank line after darkens allows us an interlude for maudlin projection before the poet pulls out from under us the self-indulgent rug.

And how about “Porno Movie:”

the girl
         loosens her bra
starts peeling off panties
         darkens

         25¢

(p. 149)

The editing process offers an opportunity to evaluate your haiku’s tonality. Decide what responsive mood you want your readers to experience, and whether that’s a realistic agenda. If you’re uneasy about the results try the poem out on truthful friends. If you identify a problem, ask yourself whether any previously unrecognized discordant feelings or attitudes of yours may be responsible. Make adjustments—and repeat the debugging sequence as often as necessary.



Here are a few questions that came to mind after reading Paul’s piece:

While “dark” and its cousins are, as Paul writes, “venerable power words partaking of a western literary tradition,” do you think this is where this influence is predominantly coming from when it comes to English-language haiku? My immediate, personal, associations were to a few of Bashō’s more popular poems. So, do you think the influence is western, or from translations of haikai/hokku/haiku?

Also, are there other ways to attain the same kind of mood without leaning on the use of the word “dark” or any of its variations? Can you think of examples of haiku that are able to create this mood, feeling, or idea, without being so explicit?

Lastly, is the overt use of “dark” and its cousins something we should avoid in haiku? Sometimes, “it depends,” always? Are you mindful of using it—if not avoiding it altogether—when you write?


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{ 22 comments }

Paul Watsky February 4, 2010 at 10:18 am

I’m not so much trying to invent rules about word choice as to suggest that certain words carry more associational freight than others, freight that can affect readers’ reactions. Unless one is striving to elicit laughter it’s probably safer to write, “It was a stormy night,” than, “It was a dark and stormy night.”

“Dark” has been worked so hard over the years that it’s nearly a one-word cliche. But some people embrace poetry because it reunites them, comfortingly, with the familiar, i.e. meets a type of psychological need—almost like chanting, which certainly doesn’t aim for novelty.

Michele Harvey February 4, 2010 at 8:48 am

“Lastly, is the overt use of “dark” and its cousins something we should avoid in haiku? Sometimes, “it depends,” always? Are you mindful of using it—if not avoiding it altogether—when you write?”
This raises a question that I’ve bumped into before with haiku. (It’s the ‘scarecrow’ question.) In these three little lines that we work within, in a single language, with so many poets diligently working to exhaust the usage, how can we or should we (can we afford to) avoid using anything (word or image) that comes to hand? Does this kind of avoidance artificially stilt a poet’s voice? Will editors automatically discard a poem for perceived current overuse? After a period of time, can the word be new-minted? Surely, this kind of thinking can power energetic creativity, but it can also be a loss.

Merrill Ann Gonzales February 2, 2010 at 9:51 pm

Alan, I remember your “turning into the thermals” from Azami…I always liked it as it reminded me of that old Chinese proverb about luck…The old man has a son and some horses and all his horses get out one night and they are gone; and all the neighbor’s lament his bad luck…and the story goes on and on turning bad luck to good luck to bad luck again…till you see the silliness of assigning good or bad to luck at all.

Cherie, I agree with you, thinning bones is much more ominous
than dark or darkness. I just recovered from a broken right wrist and was not sure I’d have the use of my right hand again…thankfully I had a good doctor and it’s o.k. now…

I just came across a wonderful haiku on “tiny words” by Grant Hackett. It brings to mind the “shadow” which sort of indicates darkness or at least less light.

“and don’t snow geese and immortality take their shadows from the sea.” – Grant Hackett – Issue 9.1/2 February 2010 – Tiny Words…originally published on “Falling Off The Mountain”….
It’s a one line haiku but it didn’t fit all on one line here.
I think this haiku is marvelous…so much to contemplate.

Cherie Hunter Day February 2, 2010 at 2:20 pm

I found six or seven published haiku where I’ve used ‘dark, darken, or darkest.’ Dark can come at any time of year and be promising or ominous. The spring dark is full of life and possibility. I think “thinning bones—” is more ominous than “winter weeds.” By acknowledging death (winter) and focusing on the architectural beauty of the weeds the feeling of foreboding is reduced. In the end my darkest secret isn’t all that dark.

spring dark
pivot in the flight
of barn swallows
Frogpond XXIX: 1 (2006)

thinning bones—
craters darken
the harvest moon
The Heron’s Nest VI: 8 (2004)
The Horse with One Blue Eye (2006) Snapshot Press

winter weeds
the darkest secret
I know
Snapshots 12 (2006)
The Horse with One Blue Eye (2006) Snapshot Press

Alan Summers February 1, 2010 at 7:40 pm

Intriguing, just on a search of haiku written by me using the word dark or darkening I have only two both dealing with birdlife, and none using ‘deepening’ that have been published yet (I have two yet to go, neither to do with birdlife).

turning into the thermals
unknown birds
into white then dark again

Alan Summers
Azami #26, Japan

fading last note
a torresian crow sounds
the darkening sky

Alan Summers
From Crow Haibun: different versions published in Paper Wasp, Queensland, 1997; Azami haiku journal, Osaka, Japan 1998; Blithe Spirit, June 2004; and Shamrock Haiku Journal, Irish Haiku Society, Spring 2006; HAIKU HIKE (World Walks) (Part of Crossover UK’s 2006 ‘Renewability’ project); Sketchbook, A Journal for Eastern & Western Short Forms Nov. 2007.

Merrill Ann Gonzales February 1, 2010 at 7:31 pm

Here’s one I find much more frightening:

the piercing blue
of a young jackdaw’s eyes…
morning chill
– John Barlow
from Wing Beats

Not even the slightest reference to darkness. But such a threatening image in a time of “light”…..

Merrill Ann Gonzales February 1, 2010 at 7:18 pm

I don’t know if these thoughts about the concept of dark, darkness etc. are particularly Western or not. I have completely different takes on them. Being light sensative, I sometimes find excessive light painful..and darkness a relief…
As a child I could see in the dark and sort of enjoyed a gift that other childen did not seem to have. As an artist I find that the darks are the power in a black and white drawing. And so when I come to these images in haiku, I don’t associate them with trouble, or maudelin sentiments, or sadness or grief necessarily, except if there is something else in the haiku to indicate that it is being used for that purpose.

I’m reading “Wing Beats” at the moment…and come to these haiku:

darkening mere –
a heron coils its neck
the last half inch
-David Cobb

The day is over, the heron’s come to a resting place, and pulls itself in… I don’t sense any fear or trouble or sadness here at all.

grey frozen loch
beyond darker rocks
the brow of a grouse
- David Platt

This haiku refers to the Black Grouse (Tetrao tetrix) and as I read this haiku the darkness of the grouse fits into a larger and greater scene than the frozen loch… it is one with “the other” in its darkness.

swallows on a wire the sky darkens towards evening
-Stuart Quine

The swallows have returned. It’s been a long migration. There is fatigue…but it is spring, after all. Darkening towards evening to me denotes rest.

And the darkest one I could find last night:

through the curls
of a crow’s feet…
deepening twilight
– John Barlow

doesn’t actually use the word darkness but the crow’s form and shadow certainly imply darkness. To be caught in the crow’s feet to me sounds a lot more menacing than the mere thought of darkness.

I think somewhere in the Psalms it says that darkness and light are the same to God… I don’t think they are the same, but I do know there would be no sight without degrees of darkness.

So glad I finally caught up with Headsets… This column could get very interesting and informative. Many thanks.

Tom D'Evelyn February 1, 2010 at 12:21 pm

after father’s wake
the long walk in the moonlight
to the darkened house

I would have thought the change from moonlit walk to dark house would precisely be something that would preclude an easy bedtime. The haiku preserves the difference, and the difference is absolute.

Christopher A. White February 1, 2010 at 10:31 am

“So, do you think the influence is western, or from translations of haikai/hokku/haiku?”

This raises a more complex question for me:

when a western poet translates a Japanese haiku, does the western poet impart the western associations of darkness onto the Japanese original? (even, perhaps, without realising it?) I don’t know if it’s possible to escape this, so even if the translator was trying desperately to retain the original sense of the poem, there may be something of a fusion of influences. Not necessarily a bad thing by any means… but still something to think about in discussing this matter. Any thoughts?

Gabi Greve Japan February 1, 2010 at 12:01 am

Just saw this on national HAIKU TV

この道や行く人なしに秋の暮れ
kono michi ya yuku hito nashi ni aki no kure

This road:
with no one traveling on it,
autumn darkness falls.

Matsuo Basho
(Tr. Harold Henderson)

dark and darkness, the end of a day or a season, as KURE in Japanese.

Sensei said :
You use an appropriate kigo to describe your feelings. That is the purpose of kigo.

Click my name for more translations of this haiku by Basho and the “darkness of an autumn evening”.

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