12th Sailing: one-line haiku

To answer Adams question, I don’t know what I can add to the explorations and explanations of the essays above, for instance, and other discussions of the form.

I appreciated Peter’s commentary on Scott’s “trees.” He also mentioned something about ‘all-at-once’ which reminded me of the “one-line–one-thought” and “speedrush” categories Jim Kacian described in The Way of One. I once described it for myself as an all-in-one quality, where the layers, shifts, bumps, ambiguities or what have you, all happen simultaneously to create a sort of subtle ecstasy. But of course such attempts at explanation make poor substitutes for the experience of it, which either works or doesn’t with individual poems for individual readers.

I’ll also note that I like the example of Emily Romano’s fossilence, and other one-word compressions I’ve seen (but can’t now locate) which I find highly inventive while also doing what haiku do– give an “inspired presentation of two concrete images” for instance, as well as taking on some of qualities of one-line haiku.

I appreciate Adam’s prompt. (Very different from Eve’s). As presenter of these Sailings, I guess I see my role to some extent as moderator as well, stepping in when things “stall”. But I also feel that anyone can play that role, and appreciate it when it happens.

For me, what many one line poems seem to do, actually, is *undermine* the sense of the concrete. Perhaps the chief means here is ambiguity, a multiple presentation of meanings. The excitement of it is in the play of control and loss of control—at least on the conscious level. That is, in such a poem meanings may emerge which the writer was unconscious of, didn’t intend, and maybe didn’t want. Two and three line poems can do this as well, of course, but I think the one-liner brings this possibility to the fore, maybe because it messes with the expectation that what we are reading is something akin to a sentence which will follow certain rules. Most sentences don’t have the speed bumps and sudden lane-shifts that a one-line haiku (or derivative) often does. A 2 or 3 line poem often provides them for the reader, and may do so skillfully.

Perception, I’ll tentatively assert, is all-at-once, multiple, and layered. To make sense of something, I suppose, requires that we do a kind of choosing of what is important, significant, or has meaning. A road has meaning: it takes us where we wish to go. It’s important to know what to expect, and to concentrate on it, and especially important not to text your little poems to your friends as you drive. Concentrate as we may and must, there’s a lot more going on than the road, as anyone who has closed his/her eyes to sleep after a long drive can testify—for me, I can be flooded with a dizzying slide-show of images, not all related to the journey I took—a kind of discharge of the nervous system, I suppose, which for so long was forced to a narrow vision.

A one line poem can be the road, the car, the passengers, the dead armadillo, the inner fleeting associations and feelings, and the sky. All at once.

Here’s a quite simple poem by Scott Metz:

trees almost bare touching you

A first reading may follow the logic of sentence structure, and fill in the gaps:

(The) trees (are) almost bare(,) touching you (as you walk by).

Another sense, harder to translate into sentence-language, might be:

There is something about the fact that there are only a few leaves remaining on the trees, leaves which must eventually fall, which touches your heart.

But there is another level, another layer, which is yet harder to translate because it is more felt than thought, but which has something to do with feeling, in one’s very being, almost bare in the presence of things which touch us. There is an all-at-onceness to experiencing the almost bare trees and feeling oneself as almost bare.

Other layers are likely, but I’ll stop here as I don’t wish to overburden the system. I’ll just add that I don’t think Scott’s poem would be as rich in any other form.

I’m a bit curious as to why, after only 4 days, the latest Quicksilver has garnered 34 posts (and seems to have momentum), while this Sailing, after 19 days, has 35– only one more– and seems to have stalled. I’m glad there is so much discussion on season words– i’m learning, if only my own response to the subject. But why so little response to the subject of one-line haiku? Is it because it is somewhat new, maybe even risky– the territory of the avant garde, as practiced by Metz, Gordon, Mountain and others?

As always, my lack of consistent access to a computer makes it hard for me to be a consistent contributor to this blog, but I look forward to any thoughts about this. In the meantimes, I’ll think about one-line haiku– study a bit– and hope to come back later. Maybe with thoughts about season words too.

Thanks, everyone, for the discussions–

Tray

I can’t find a haiku that came to mind (they are never were I was sure I first saw them) but there’s a space before the last line:

first line
then something

thuds

Which I found pleasantly effective, along with these by Patrick Sweeney and Charles Trumbull

three caws / to cross / the evening sky (with spaces instead of slashes)

rung
by
rung
sun
set

“The fence post example certainly qualifies as concrete poetry,” Chris writes.

Does it? I wouldn’t have called it a concete poem and this opinion was reinforced after using the link you provide to examples of concrete poetry which are rather more elaborate than simply writing a haiku in a vertical form.

Margaret’s use of the vertical, I think, quietly supports the words, rather than overtly recreating a picture using typeface.

Now I’ve found this quote from David Lanoue:

“The more I read haiku, the more I am conviced that it is an art of step-by-step accumulation, as word builds on word into a single, resonant compound … Presented vertically, the haiku forces the reader to dwell, ever-so-briefly, on each word, each building step in the sequence toward full revelation. In my opinion, there is more of the freshness of the original in this arrangement than one finds in the usual three-line English format.” http://haikuguy.com/ctp.html

Which ties in pretty much with what I’m groping towards, and expressed much more elegantly!