Quicksilver: the chronicles of a newcomer to the art of haiku
Quicksilver
Hg3
Learning About Seasonal Words
By Laura Sherman
One of the first things I learned about haiku is that each poem must contain a seasonal word. Sounded easy enough. I assumed that this was open to interpretation and that I could pick words that evoked different seasons for me.
As I studied further, I ran across the term “kigo.” Kigo is a Japanese seasonal word. These are set in stone. Students of haiku in Japan study a kigo dictionary, called a “saijiki,” to learn which words represent which seasons.
As I continued to explore this area I saw that some haiku poets branched from the kigo concept and sought seasonal words appropriate for their area. In a different discussion on Young Leaf #2 (here on troutswirl), I was intrigued by how seasonal words could vary depending on where you live in this world.
Lorin Ford pointed out that July is winter in Australia. I couldn’t believe that I hadn’t considered that before. Since I live in Florida, I never thought of it as anything but a summer word (a very hot, humid, sticky seasonal word).
I see there is a debate between the traditional kigo approach and the seasonal word concept (which is a bit more open to interpretation). I plan to study both approaches more and learn from each.
I do have trouble sometimes finding an appropriate kigo or seasonal word for my haiku. I know it isn’t a haiku without one.
I have been working on two haiku that have stumped me. For me “sandy” speaks of summer, but I know it isn’t a kigo. Does it work as a seasonal word?
returning—
my sandy footprints erased
webbed ones remain
Then the other has been with me for a while. I love going to the beach and watching the sun touch the horizon. It’s a special moment for me. It is also a little sad when the moment is gone and the sun has set.
red sun touches
distant aqua line—
deflating
So, for me both haiku speak of summer, but I suspect neither has a seasonal word. How does one “insert” a seasonal word without losing the poetry? I could make Line 1 of the second haiku: “red summer sun touches.” Or perhaps, “august sun touches,” which might infer that summer vacation is over as well. I prefer the original, but suspect it isn’t a haiku.
Can you help me sort this out?
What do you do when you write a haiku, which doesn’t contain a seasonal word?
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Quicksilver is a column on troutswirl, the blog for The Haiku Foundation, devoted to showcasing the questions, ideas, and evolution of a beginner to the art of haiku, Laura Sherman. Each installment will feature some of Laura’s new work as well as her ideas and thought-processes concerning them. It is hoped that readers will respond with reactions, ideas, and advice on her work and provide feedback on how she might develop and improve her craft.
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“How does one “insert” a seasonal word without losing the poetry?
Laura”
To “bring the kigo alive” is one of the important pieces of advise given by a Japanese haiku sensei. To do that can not be learned in one week …
If you learn to play chess, do you remember all the steps in one day
and master them completely on the next day?
and
…Once you master the basics of chess,
are you allowed to move the horses freely as the mood drives you at this moment?
Are you allowed to move the figures as you plesase, because you find it better to “forget the rules” and follow your feelings?
Think of kigo as a vocabulary of the new haiku language you are about to learn, that takes TIME to sink in and be used naturally.
Haiku is only three lines … so each word counts and must be used skillfully.
Skill comes with study, study study
and practise, practise, practise …
All the best to your efforts, Laura !
Gabi
Turning tide:
where my footprints were
webbed prints are
Hi Laura,
Laura said: “Alan, the beach is called Honeymoon Island. I’m not sure if it is famous, but it is a highly rated beach. My attention was only fixed on the one footprint, but I changed it in the haiku to reflect more, as I felt the reader would ask, “What happened to the other footprints?” I see I wasn’t far off. ”
Is this beach formerly known as Hog Island then supported by the Wizard of Oz cast when it was renamed “Honeymoon Island”?
wikipedia:
“Many of the popular cast members of the Wizard of Oz (1939), including the “Lollipop Guild” midgets (dwarfs) vacationed in these facilities to help to publicize their availability.”
Maybe it is good to focus on one footprint being “taken over” by gull prints?
With permission from Faber and Faber and Society of Authors to use an extract from Philip Larkin’s “Here” poem for my Hull Global Renga, a special commission by Hull Libraries and Larkin25:
shining gull marked mud
gathers to the surprise
of a large town
Philip Larkin
I’m a fan of gulls and other ‘seaside’ birds.
Also, although my tawny frogmouth haiku isn’t strictly one with kigo or a seasonal reference, their breeding season is August to December (Australia). Janice Bostok gives an interesting Judge’s report on my poem.
Alan
As a child, I liked to trail my fingers or toes over the side of the boat when it was moving fast, until my father told me not to, explaining that barracuda were attracted to fast-moving bait.
o, well.
“Students of haiku in Japan study a kigo dictionary, called a “saijiki,” to learn which words represent which seasons.”
It’s not only that kigo represent seasons. I do recommend that you read through all that Gabi has put together on kigo (by which I mean the Japanese, kigo, not ‘kigo’).whilst keeping an open mind about ‘kigo’. Kigo are nuanced with mood, tone, allusions to classic Japanese and Chinese literature. It took many centuries for kigo to evolve. There is a very good reason that Japanese haiku students (and haiku experts and renku sabaki) use a saijiki. That’s because each of those thousands of kigo are differently nuanced, sifted from previous poems or other literature. I’ve gathered that in Japan there are correct and incorrect ways of using kigo, just as there are correct and incorrect ways of speaking French.
One thoughtful take on kigo as it might apply to ELH, by John Bird, here:
http://users.mullum.com.au/jbird/dreaming/ozku-about-kigo.html
But to your ku:
returning—
my sandy footprints erased
webbed ones remain
I suggest that you try various ways of writing Ls 2 &3, forgetting about L1 in the meanwhile, or keeping it on ‘mute’ in a corner of your mind. Also, write Ls 2 & 3 out as one line. This is a good way of checking that the lines actually convey what you want them to. eg:
my sandy footprints erased /webbed ones remain
or
my sandy footprints / erased webbed ones remain
In my view, it is usually better if the 2nd & 3rd lines of a three-line ku such as this one flow without a grammatical break between them.
gull’s footprints erase mine
gull’s webbed footprints where mine were
…not too much of a stretch to:
my footprints fill with gulls
Now, not a serious attempt but an example nevertheless:
ham sandwich -
my footprints fill
with gulls
No ‘kigo’ here, though, and I doubt there’s a kigo either…not even a season word.
I like the insertion of the seasonal word, but not being much of a purist, I enjoy the ones you have written without. Living in Florida, they don’t particularly evoke summer for me, but they might for those living elsewhere.
Hi Laura,
By way of example:
My Italian greyhound, Shadow, loves to chase rabbits, yet he knows he must stay in the yard. So, he chases rabbits, but only as far as the property line. When I first noticed him doing this, I had the last two lines of a haiku:
the hound chases a rabbit
to the property line
My initial haiku attempt was something like this:
summer morning
the hound chases a rabbit
to the property line
Notice that the kigo ‘gets the job done’ but adds little to the verse. It functions somewhat as what Lee Gurga refers to as ‘a date stamp.’
What ultimately was published was this:
hunting season
the hound chases a rabbit
to the property line
Karen Cesar
Frogpond Vol. XXI # 1
Winter 2008
See the difference?
Below are two excellent articles concerning kigo that may interest you:
Beyond the Haiku Moment:
Basho, Buson and Modern Haiku myths
Modern Haiku, XXXI:1 (winter-spring 2000)
By Haruo Shirane
http://www.haikupoet.com/definitions/beyond_the_haiku_moment.html
And:
Kigo and Seasonal Reference:
Cross‑cultural Issues in Anglo‑American Haiku
By Richard Gilbert
http://research.iyume.com/kigo/kigo-cross-cultural-issues.htm
Laura,
“How does one “insert” a seasonal word without losing the poetry?”
Perhaps this is a matter of practice making something that has to be learned into something that comes naturally. I certainly see a lot of ELH in which it seems obvious that the poet has “inserted” a kigo/seasonal reference. With practice, this can become more seamless but I don’t think there is an “instant” means of becoming adept at it. How do you get to Carnegie Hall?
While the use of kigo is the main focus of discussion here, I would like to offer you a related but otherwise directed consideration. You are attempting, in both of your poems, to make something out images that have been mined exhaustively by your predecessors. I’d love to have a penny for every ELH I’ve seen about footprints on the beach or the sun meeting the ocean (or prairie) horizon. I don’t mean that these are unworthy subjects. The fact that they occur so often is testimony to their potential. But your poems will have to be quite extraordinary in order to avoid suffering by comparison to others featuring similar images. One thing that would make them better is becoming familiar, in time, with the other poems. We’re all in the process of doing just this. Japanese haiku have millennia of reference points. ELH is just getting started in this area.
An interesting sideline here might be to discuss the distinction between “kigo” and “cliché.” There is such a distinction and having a sense of it is often part of the journey from western poetics to some version of “haiku.”
With best wishes, always,
John
Gabi, I did actually review these sections (I often visit your site to learn) and considered “hot sand”, but couldn’t make it fit. I also strongly considered making it an “august sun,” but felt it was too forced. These dilemmas inspired me to write this article, as I think others probably have a similar issue.
Lorin, please don’t go anywhere! Keep those toes in. I need you! (I have a friend who goes by “Barracuda” in the pool world. She’s very good!)
Alan, the beach is called Honeymoon Island. I’m not sure if it is famous, but it is a highly rated beach. My attention was only fixed on the one footprint, but I changed it in the haiku to reflect more, as I felt the reader would ask, “What happened to the other footprints?” I see I wasn’t far off.
Robert, I understand that you are frustrated, but remember I am new to haiku and am trying to learn. The point of this series is to help answer some of the basic questions that a newcomer might have. I know this topic is controversial, but I don’t believe that most of the English-language haiku are junk.
Montage is full of wonderful examples of ELH.
Laura said: “I was on at the beach and saw one of my footprints that I had made earlier that day had disappeared. It was covered by little web-prints from sea gulls. (I had various variations of this haiku and actually really liked the coined word “web-print”, but didn’t use it) I was fascinated by the concept of the footprint being erased by other prints.”
Could you say which beach it was? Some beaches are famous, so it could be something to include.
When you say ‘one’ of your footprints disappeared, were the others still visible? DId this one footprint only disappear, not by the action of the sea, but of numerous birds overprinting your footprint?
all my best,
Alan
taking my toes
out of the water –
barracuda-haiku
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