reading like a sentance

[Darrell]

Hello everyone,
  Can anyone tell me when is it ok to have a haiku read like a sentance? I take a lot of insperation from others published haiku and so much of it seems to me to read like a sentance.
 case in point:
     after the game
     a full moon rises over
     the left field fence
                               cor van den heuvel, the haiku anthology

   in my medicine cabinet,
   the winter fly
   has died of old age
                             jack kerouac, the haiku anthology

   indian paintbrush
   still wet
   with dawn colors
                         garry gay,montage the book

  and many more I find in my reading and study of haiku.

   thanks in advance for any comments , a haiku student, darrell

[al fogel]

Darrell: There are no set rules regarding sentence, frag/phrase, phrase/jux etc but the tendency in recent (last 2 decades) ELH poems is the frag phrase or phrase jux format--in order to create more tension and resonance. The Cor and Kerouac poems that you cited I believe are from the 1950s or 60s--long before the frag/phrase structure (btw, first introduced, by Jane Reichold I believe in the late 1980s) came into prominance and has now become a mainstay in haiku workshops. IMO, a one sentence ku can still be effective if the imagery is powerful enough to sustain it.

Just thinking out loud,

Hope this helps,

Al  

[John McManus]

Hi Darrell, this is a good question.

The phrase and fragment theory is not the only way to write a haiku it is merely a technique that can be used to highlight the shift in thought within the poem and enhance juxtaposition.

In haiku there can be cuts or cutting words. A cut in Japanese is usually signalled with particular sounds that act as a marker for the end of one section of the haiku and the beginning of the next section. Japanese haijin traditionally do not use em dashes, ellipsises or other types of punctuation like we do.

The poems you have cited are as Al says quite old and whilst they are good early haiku poems I don't think I can honestly say they are outstanding examples of contemporary EL haiku.

What do you or anyone think of this one by Roberta Beary from her award winning collection the Unworn Necklace?

hating him
between bites
of unripe plums

warmest,
John


     

 

[al fogel]

Thanks, John , for posting this wonderful one-sentence haiku by one of my favorite contemporary haiku poets.

I love the way Roberta compares the unripe plums  (immature?) with the bitter relationship that seems to have turned sour or acrimonious. In 7 words and 10 syllables and only one sentence, she is able to depict a failed relationship that stays with you long after the plums have ripened.

Al

[Darrell]

Al and John,
   thank you for taking the time to answer my question. If iI have it right since the 1980s modern ELH has been written in a frag/phrase style and has become the unoffical rule on how to write a modern ELH. But as in all rules they are made to be broken. But if your going to break the rules you had better do it with a master touch. ie:
                        hating him
                        between bites
                        of unripe plums

  ok guys thanks for the information.
 a haiku student, darrell

[chibi575]

It has been and is my experience that structure and style changing over time are due in large part to editors who's charter is to "reflect" their readers' ear.  The tenets of Japanese haiku (Shiki's coinage) having a key linguistic component, the cutting word or phrase, prevents on the most part, haiku from being grammatically structured as a complete sentence.  This, restriction, transfered to non-Japanese poems can, at times, manifest itself as complete sentences in other languages (since, for example in English, there is no grammatical equivalent to represent the impact of the Japanese cutting word or phrase, that is to say, it is very difficult to represent an equivalent).

That said and my mantra, "if it ain't Japanese it ain't haiku", I agree with Al and John, "sentencing" is a matter of style and whim.  I readily admit to shun sentence structure in the short English poems I write and try to adopt the haiku equivalents for kireji (cutting word or phrase), thus, avoiding using a sentence.

But, I recommend and encourage you to explore and gather your own conclusions and develop your own style(s).

ciao...