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You are here: Home / Renku Sessions / The Renku Sessions: Pilgrims' Stride 25

August 28, 2014 By John Stevenson 77 Comments

The Renku Sessions: Pilgrims' Stride 25

renkuchainWelcome to The Renku Sessions. Renku is a participatory literary game, following a set of rules that are implemented by the leader of the session. If you would like to learn more about renku go here. And if you would like to see a sample of a complete renku go here.

I’m John Stevenson, and I will serve as your guide for this session, a thirty-six verse (kasen) renku. I have supplied the opening verse (hokku) and each week I will select an additional verse from among those submitted prior to the Tuesday deadline.

A heartening burst of creativity was our lot this time, with sixty-seven offers from a total of twenty-one poets. Even better, a large portion of these presented something new and savory for our renku.

It was a pleasure to see continued participation from some of the poets already included. I had wondered if their energies might flag at this point. Multiple “red” verses from Karen Cesar and Alice Frampton, along with “red” offers from Betty Shropshire and batsword, made it clear that I need have no fears on this point.

Looking for the opportunity to include a new contributor once again was made easy by a larger than usual set of “red” verses from this group of poets. Finalist verses were offered by Ellen Grace Olinger, Carmen Sterba, joel irusta, and Patrick Sweeney. Multiple finalists were offered by Terri French and Sandra Simpson.

When I say “finalist” verses, I mean those that, in their own right, exhibit strong poetic values and present images and tonal qualities that seem fresh and vivid. When all of a week’s offers have been reviewed and reduced to this “finalist” stage, I begin the process of looking at the technical issues that must play some part in selecting the single verse to be used. This can involve very slight distinctions. For instance, joel irusta’s a lightly scented letter / arrives with a postmark / from the future is just great but “lightly scented” is slightly redolent of “covering little by little” in the leap-over verse. I was very tempted by the sound / of her fingernails / tapping on glass by Terri French. But we have a really good supply of sound images already incorporated through earlier verses. The distinctions among finalist verses are rarely any greater than these I have described and all the poets I mention above are to be congratulated.

Our twenty-fifth verse comes from Terri French. Not only does it link nicely with its predecessor and turn it in a new direction, it also fulfills my request that this verse provide a “setup” for the love verses to follow it. I anticipate it being followed by some kind of “Taming of the Shrew” image, or something dealing with the painful aspects of love, or perhaps revisions of a love letter. These and many other love images might launch from the pad provided by this verse twenty-five.

Here is the verse you must link to:

the sting
of a paper cut
on her tongue

    –Terri French

The next verse, the twenty-sixth, is the first of two love verses. We will be starting over with the topic here and we will want of avoid repeating anything from our prior set of love verses (numbers eight and nine). Here are the formal requirements for verse twenty-six:

  • Non-seasonal love image (should not include words or phrases from our season word list)
  • Written in two lines, without a cut
  • Linking with the twenty-fifth verse, and only the twenty-fifth verse
  • Shifting widely to a new topic and setting

Add your suggested two-line link below, in the Comments box. You have until midnight EST, Tuesday, September 2, 2014. You may submit as many verses as you like, but please use a new comment box for each one. I will announce my selection for the next link on Thursday, September 4 here on the blog, and provide information and instructions for submitting the next link.

What We’ll Be Looking For — Throughout the Session

There are many schematic outlines for a kasen renku. We will be using one set out by Professor Fukuda in his book Introduction to World-linking Renku. It will not be necessary for you to have a copy of this book since instructions will be offered before each verse is solicited.

It is a good idea for those participating in the composition of a renku to make use of the same list of season words. There are a number of these lists available and I intend no judgment of their relative value. For purposes of this session I am suggesting the use of The Five Hundred Essential Japanese Season Words.

Pilgrims’ Stride to Date

comparing maps
to the mountain pass–
pilgrims’ stride

    –John Stevenson

a sun-warmed stone bridge
over snowmelt

    –Billie Wilson

dampened soil
of seed trays
in the glasshouse

    –Margaret Beverland

grandmother’s silverware
polished every monday

    –Polona Oblak

a sonata
on the concert Steinway
played to the moon

    –Lorin Ford

dragonflies hover
by the swaying reeds

    –Karen Cesar

slight hum
of a drone
in fog

    –Alice Frampton

the atmosphere
thick with teenage pheromones

    –Norman Darlington

I stumble
trying to reply
“I plight thee my troth.”

    –Paul MacNeil

thinking of a red wig
during chemo

    –Asni Amin

the woodland
of silent stories
and shadow

    –Alan Summers

he makes a wish
to become real

    –Marion Clarke

each mirror reflects
only the cool moon
rising

    –kris moon

freshly-caught fish
sizzles in the pan

    –Aalix Roake

a wealthy prince
exiled in Nigeria
soliciting my help

    –Christopher Patchel

sugar plum fairy came
and hit the streets…

    –Jennifer Sutherland

a milky nimbus
at dusk
beneath the cherry tree

    –Scott Mason

pulling in spring clouds
with a telephoto lens

    –Dru Philippou

plain truth
of a skylark’s
song

    –Stella Pierides

our yoga instructor
tells us to breathe

    –Priscilla Van Valkenburgh

smoldering dung cakes
burning in the blackened pit
flavors the curry

    –Betty Shropshire

the family’s grudge
celebrates a century

    –batsword

first snowfall
covering little by little
all the dirt

    –Vasile Moldovan

scraping the ice rink
of blood, sweat and tears

    –Carole MacRury

the sting
of a paper cut
on her tongue

    –Terri French

Filed Under: Renku Sessions

Comments

  1. Garry Eaton says

    September 5, 2014 at 10:55 am

    Something wrong here. Didn’t I see stride 26 posted yesterday?

    Reply
  2. Garry Eaton says

    September 5, 2014 at 10:51 am

    Oops! Withdraw that. . .how about

    the old flowering plum
    is in love again

    Reply
  3. Garry Eaton says

    September 5, 2014 at 10:49 am

    in the garden
    the old flowering plum
    is in love again

    Reply
  4. Paul MacNeil says

    September 3, 2014 at 1:19 pm

    his nails make
    her abdominals quiver

    Reply
  5. Betty Shropshire says

    September 3, 2014 at 8:45 am

    origami hang
    by the bed

    Reply
  6. Alice Frampton says

    September 2, 2014 at 10:55 pm

    I ogle his derrière
    as he bends for the news

    Reply
  7. joel irusta says

    September 2, 2014 at 4:13 pm

    the quarterback struts downfield
    fondling the cheerleader’s heart

    Reply
  8. Ellen Grace Olinger says

    September 2, 2014 at 10:04 am

    Dear John, Thank you. I understand better. I’ve been rereading what’s been written so far often, to see if I can write something that adds to the flow of the piece, while also following the rules for a verse. I love to learn.

    I’ve gotten the sense from your teaching and revisions in comments that the goal is to have variety and not repeat too much. So I guess the rereading so far is good from that viewpoint.

    I arrived later here! I went back to some of your earlier posts and believe it was there that I understood a little more that the cut is between the verses, and so the rule about writing verses without a cut does make sense to me now.

    The challenge of thinking about several factors at one time is wonderful. When I helped train teachers in special education, I’d say to understand a child’s difficulty in an area by thinking about what’s hard for them as teachers. To keep learning, to remember those feelings.

    I understand your response – “not a narrative form, not a story.”

    Thank you, Ellen

    Reply
  9. Asni Amin says

    September 2, 2014 at 9:31 am

    the dance we dance
    back and forth

    Reply
  10. Betty Shropshire says

    September 2, 2014 at 8:30 am

    parchment on a pillow
    with a new leash and collar

    Reply
  11. John Stevenson says

    September 2, 2014 at 8:01 am

    ” I’m interested to learn how the renku as a whole works, or will read…”
    Ellen Grace Olinger

    This is a real challenge when we are new to renku. It is not a narrative form, not a story. Some readers will instinctively attempt to impose a story line on it. But it is not intended to be a story, any more than the daily “nextness” of life is a story, even though we instinctively attempt to impose a narrative on it, too. Since this is the case, reading a renku can be vexing for readers who don’t know what is behind it. I think I may have said in an earlier post that the main value in writing a renku is in the experience of writing it. I see the finished work as something like the box score of a baseball game. For one who knows how to read a box score and cares to use their imagination, it can somewhat recreate the game. But this is no substitute for having been there during the game, as a spectator or a player.

    Reply
  12. joel irusta says

    September 2, 2014 at 7:40 am

    the soft kiss accents
    deeply wrinkled faces

    Reply
  13. joel irusta says

    September 2, 2014 at 7:36 am

    wearing love like an
    old worn coat

    Reply
  14. Betty Shropshire says

    September 2, 2014 at 6:46 am

    parchment on the pillow
    with instructions to strip

    Reply
  15. Marion Clarke says

    September 2, 2014 at 6:11 am

    she wonders if her bed
    is comfortable enough

    Reply
  16. Marion Clarke says

    September 2, 2014 at 6:08 am

    she asks a pupil
    to deliver her note

    Reply
  17. Marion Clarke says

    September 2, 2014 at 6:04 am

    will he really be
    the right one?

    Reply
  18. Ellen Grace Olinger says

    September 2, 2014 at 4:26 am

    the sting
    of a paper cut
    on her tongue

    – Terri French

    Revision note: The poem I wrote yesterday, “hearts printed on/the family tablecloth,” repeats “family,” a word batsword used in “the family’s grudge/celebrates a century.”

    Just beginning here, and was thinking of overall progression in terms of a relationship moving from a grudge to being able to share a meal, and the hearts on the cloth being a hint of forgiveness or inspiration.

    So perhaps:

    hearts printed
    on an old tablecloth

    as a love verse that has weathered a few things.

    Just an idea, a question. I’m interested to learn how the renku as a whole works, or will read, along with the requirements for each verse – something that can’t be known so far! Thanks, Ellen

    Reply
  19. Alice Frampton says

    September 2, 2014 at 12:04 am

    his kiss goes all the way
    to the back of my throat

    Reply
  20. Carole MacRury says

    September 1, 2014 at 7:02 pm

    his side, her side
    ends with a furious kiss

    Reply
  21. Carole MacRury says

    September 1, 2014 at 6:54 pm

    a lover’s apology
    written across the sky

    Reply
  22. jerry julius says

    September 1, 2014 at 1:41 pm

    Dear John
    Joe and I are engaged

    Reply
  23. Ellen Grace Olinger says

    September 1, 2014 at 10:45 am

    the sting
    of a paper cut
    on her tongue

    – Terri French

    hearts printed on
    the family tablecloth

    Reply
  24. Marilyn Potter says

    September 1, 2014 at 9:18 am

    he insists on a breath mint
    before each kiss

    Reply
  25. Marilyn Potter says

    September 1, 2014 at 9:17 am

    insisting on Listerine
    before a kiss

    Reply
  26. Betty Shropshire says

    September 1, 2014 at 9:12 am

    guileless in nothing but skin
    with the kids away for now

    Reply
  27. Betty Shropshire says

    September 1, 2014 at 8:58 am

    guileless shrug at the late hour
    of another boys’ night out

    Reply
  28. Jennifer Sutherland says

    August 31, 2014 at 9:45 am

    the sting
    of a paper cut
    on her tongue

    –Terri French

    an arrow shoots
    from Cupid’s bow

    Reply
  29. Vasile Moldovan says

    August 31, 2014 at 9:14 am

    the sting
    of a paper cut
    on her tongue
    -Terri French

    the last love letter
    remains unopened
    Vasile Moldovan

    Reply
  30. sandra says

    August 30, 2014 at 10:31 pm

    the sting
    of a paper cut
    on her tongue

    –Terri French

    kissing it better
    between Marilyn’s legs

    – Sandra Simpson

    or

    kissing it better
    under Marilyn’s skirt

    – Sandra Simpson
    http://www.dailynews.com/arts-and-entertainment/20140402/marilyn-monroe-statue-to-leave-palm-springs-for-new-jersey-today

    Reply
  31. sandra says

    August 30, 2014 at 10:29 pm

    the sting
    of a paper cut
    on her tongue

    –Terri French

    still a turn on, but that
    Mae West Lips sofa …

    – Sandra Simpson
    but he’s still a turn on

    – Sandra Simpson

    Reply
  32. sandra says

    August 30, 2014 at 10:25 pm

    the sting
    of a paper cut
    on her tongue

    –Terri French

    he kisses it better
    in Rodin’s garden

    – Sandra Simpson

    Reply
  33. Ellen Grace Olinger says

    August 30, 2014 at 2:19 pm

    the sting
    of a paper cut
    on her tongue

    – Terri French

    vows past memory
    at the nursing home

    Reply
  34. Ellen Grace Olinger says

    August 30, 2014 at 2:08 pm

    the sting
    of a paper cut
    on her tongue

    – Terri French

    these words from illness
    and not the true soul

    Reply
  35. Karen Cesar says

    August 30, 2014 at 10:11 am

    slightly revised:

    the sting
    of a paper cut
    on her tongue

    –Terri French

    his false lover’s words
    dripping with honey

    Reply
  36. Vasile Moldovan says

    August 30, 2014 at 9:46 am

    in the honeymoon
    only pretty words

    Reply
  37. Jennifer Sutherland says

    August 30, 2014 at 9:06 am

    the sting
    of a paper cut
    on her tongue

    -Terri French

    love of my life
    don’t leave me

    – Freddie Mercury – Queen
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vNsEEvRMtGI

    Reply
  38. Karen Cesar says

    August 30, 2014 at 8:46 am

    the sting
    of a paper cut
    on her tongue

    –Terri French

    a false lover’s words
    dripping with honey

    Reply
  39. Ellen Grace Olinger says

    August 30, 2014 at 6:53 am

    the sting
    of a paper cut
    on her tongue

    – Terri French

    we keep her memories
    of Dad alive and well

    Reply
  40. Aalix Roake says

    August 30, 2014 at 12:35 am

    she hissed
    that it would never last

    Reply
  41. Aalix Roake says

    August 30, 2014 at 12:32 am

    “it will never last”
    she hissed

    Reply
  42. batsword says

    August 29, 2014 at 8:02 pm

    the sting
    of a paper cut
    on her tongue

    impressed by the style
    of his linen suit

    Reply
  43. batsword says

    August 29, 2014 at 8:00 pm

    the sting
    of a paper cut
    on her tongue

    itching to meet whilst
    pressing the doorbell

    Reply
  44. batsword says

    August 29, 2014 at 7:59 pm

    the sting
    of a paper cut
    on her tongue

    amorous declarations
    left unsealed

    Reply
  45. batsword says

    August 29, 2014 at 7:58 pm

    the sting
    of a paper cut
    on her tongue

    headlines highlight
    their secret rendezvous

    Reply
  46. batsword says

    August 29, 2014 at 7:57 pm

    the sting
    of a paper cut
    on her tongue

    in every language
    the same old motive

    Reply
  47. Patrick Sweeney says

    August 29, 2014 at 7:36 pm

    the sting
    of a paper cut
    on her tongue

    -Terri French

    romancing my itch
    with crimson veronicas

    -Patrick Sweeney

    Reply
  48. Christopher Patchel says

    August 29, 2014 at 7:17 pm

    Forgot about the previous marriage verse.

    another try
    at speed dating

    Reply
  49. Christopher Patchel says

    August 29, 2014 at 4:24 pm

    another marriage proposal
    gone viral

    Reply
  50. joel irusta says

    August 29, 2014 at 4:19 pm

    tears in his eyes he
    walks away empty-handed

    Reply
  51. Tricia Knoll says

    August 29, 2014 at 2:25 pm

    a kiss in the rain
    sliding down her neck

    Reply
  52. Karen Cesar says

    August 29, 2014 at 11:48 am

    the sting
    of a paper cut
    on her tongue

    –Terri French

    friends turn a blind eye
    to their office romance

    Reply
  53. Karen Cesar says

    August 29, 2014 at 11:47 am

    the sting
    of a paper cut
    on her tongue

    –Terri French

    his mistress snubbed
    by the country club set

    Reply
  54. Betty Shropshire says

    August 29, 2014 at 8:02 am

    a cheeky notice
    via email

    Reply
  55. Ellen Grace Olinger says

    August 29, 2014 at 5:02 am

    the sting
    of a paper cut
    on her tongue

    – Terri French

    used books signed
    for someone special

    Reply
  56. Ellen Grace Olinger says

    August 29, 2014 at 4:48 am

    the sting
    of a paper cut
    on her tongue

    – Terri French

    a kind card
    made from papyrus

    Reply
  57. Betty Shropshire says

    August 29, 2014 at 12:01 am

    head held high
    minus an Adam’s apple

    Reply
  58. Carmen Sterba says

    August 28, 2014 at 7:25 pm

    the sting
    of a paper cut
    on her tongue

    –Terri French

    sharing dark chocolate
    strawberries one by one

    Reply
  59. Carmen Sterba says

    August 28, 2014 at 7:16 pm

    Ah, the word blood was used recently, I’ll try again:

    the sting
    of a paper cut
    on her tongue

    –Terri French

    a red satin dress
    for their first date

    Reply
  60. Carmen Sterba says

    August 28, 2014 at 7:14 pm

    the sting
    of a paper cut
    on her tongue

    –Terri French

    a blood red satin dress
    for their first date

    Reply
  61. Marion Clarke says

    August 28, 2014 at 5:46 pm

    her French boyfriend
    leaves her to the airport

    Reply
  62. Marion Clarke says

    August 28, 2014 at 5:43 pm

    she tells him she doesn’t mind
    that he’s so much younger

    Reply
  63. Marion Clarke says

    August 28, 2014 at 5:38 pm

    ‘je t’aime’ in her handwriting
    on the empty cigarette packet

    Reply
  64. Marion Clarke says

    August 28, 2014 at 5:36 pm

    ‘je t’aime’ scribbled
    on the bistro menu

    Reply
  65. Polona Oblak says

    August 28, 2014 at 5:14 pm

    the sting
    of a paper cut
    on her tongue

    –Terri French

    leaving his dorms
    no longer a virgin

    Reply
  66. Polona Oblak says

    August 28, 2014 at 5:13 pm

    the sting
    of a paper cut
    on her tongue

    –Terri French

    wondering how
    his kisses would feel

    Reply
  67. Betty Shropshire says

    August 28, 2014 at 4:54 pm

    novel dedication
    to a new protégé

    Reply
  68. Ellen Grace Olinger says

    August 28, 2014 at 2:34 pm

    the sting
    of a paper cut
    on her tongue

    – Terri French

    they chose not to save
    their war letters

    Reply
  69. joel irusta says

    August 28, 2014 at 2:06 pm

    back and forth texts
    provokes their concupiscence

    Reply
  70. joel irusta says

    August 28, 2014 at 1:47 pm

    pain arousing from
    secret passionate kissing

    Reply
  71. Betty Shropshire says

    August 28, 2014 at 11:21 am

    toothless old bastard
    winks as he shaves

    Reply
  72. Betty Shropshire says

    August 28, 2014 at 11:01 am

    Hi Jon…This is crazy making ☺…trying not to reflect back! covering/envelop. ..aaaaargh! Still having fun!
    Betty

    Reply
  73. Karen Cesar says

    August 28, 2014 at 10:57 am

    the sting
    of a paper cut
    on her tongue

    –Terri French

    his stapler is grabbed
    by the office heartthrob

    Reply
  74. Betty Shropshire says

    August 28, 2014 at 10:57 am

    novel entries
    envelop another

    Reply
  75. Betty Shropshire says

    August 28, 2014 at 10:52 am

    damn..sweat/perspire…sorry sorry.

    Reply
  76. Betty Shropshire says

    August 28, 2014 at 10:43 am

    novel entries perspire
    his typical mark twang

    Reply
  77. Betty Shropshire says

    August 28, 2014 at 10:34 am

    wearing his zip line
    with the usual ease

    Reply

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