Welcome to The Renku Sessions. Renku is a participatory literary game, following a set of rules that are implemented by the leader of the session. If you would like to learn more about renku go here. And if you would like to see a sample of a complete renku go here.
I’m John Stevenson, and I will serve as your guide for this session, a thirty-six verse (kasen) renku. I have supplied the opening verse (hokku) and each week I will select an additional verse from among those submitted prior to the Tuesday deadline.
A heartening burst of creativity was our lot this time, with sixty-seven offers from a total of twenty-one poets. Even better, a large portion of these presented something new and savory for our renku.
It was a pleasure to see continued participation from some of the poets already included. I had wondered if their energies might flag at this point. Multiple “red” verses from Karen Cesar and Alice Frampton, along with “red” offers from Betty Shropshire and batsword, made it clear that I need have no fears on this point.
Looking for the opportunity to include a new contributor once again was made easy by a larger than usual set of “red” verses from this group of poets. Finalist verses were offered by Ellen Grace Olinger, Carmen Sterba, joel irusta, and Patrick Sweeney. Multiple finalists were offered by Terri French and Sandra Simpson.
When I say “finalist” verses, I mean those that, in their own right, exhibit strong poetic values and present images and tonal qualities that seem fresh and vivid. When all of a week’s offers have been reviewed and reduced to this “finalist” stage, I begin the process of looking at the technical issues that must play some part in selecting the single verse to be used. This can involve very slight distinctions. For instance, joel irusta’s a lightly scented letter / arrives with a postmark / from the future is just great but “lightly scented” is slightly redolent of “covering little by little” in the leap-over verse. I was very tempted by the sound / of her fingernails / tapping on glass by Terri French. But we have a really good supply of sound images already incorporated through earlier verses. The distinctions among finalist verses are rarely any greater than these I have described and all the poets I mention above are to be congratulated.
Our twenty-fifth verse comes from Terri French. Not only does it link nicely with its predecessor and turn it in a new direction, it also fulfills my request that this verse provide a “setup” for the love verses to follow it. I anticipate it being followed by some kind of “Taming of the Shrew” image, or something dealing with the painful aspects of love, or perhaps revisions of a love letter. These and many other love images might launch from the pad provided by this verse twenty-five.
Here is the verse you must link to:
the sting
of a paper cut
on her tongue–Terri French
The next verse, the twenty-sixth, is the first of two love verses. We will be starting over with the topic here and we will want of avoid repeating anything from our prior set of love verses (numbers eight and nine). Here are the formal requirements for verse twenty-six:
- Non-seasonal love image (should not include words or phrases from our season word list)
- Written in two lines, without a cut
- Linking with the twenty-fifth verse, and only the twenty-fifth verse
- Shifting widely to a new topic and setting
Add your suggested two-line link below, in the Comments box. You have until midnight EST, Tuesday, September 2, 2014. You may submit as many verses as you like, but please use a new comment box for each one. I will announce my selection for the next link on Thursday, September 4 here on the blog, and provide information and instructions for submitting the next link.
What We’ll Be Looking For — Throughout the Session
There are many schematic outlines for a kasen renku. We will be using one set out by Professor Fukuda in his book Introduction to World-linking Renku. It will not be necessary for you to have a copy of this book since instructions will be offered before each verse is solicited.
It is a good idea for those participating in the composition of a renku to make use of the same list of season words. There are a number of these lists available and I intend no judgment of their relative value. For purposes of this session I am suggesting the use of The Five Hundred Essential Japanese Season Words.
Pilgrims’ Stride to Date
comparing maps
to the mountain pass–
pilgrims’ stride–John Stevenson
a sun-warmed stone bridge
over snowmelt–Billie Wilson
dampened soil
of seed trays
in the glasshouse–Margaret Beverland
grandmother’s silverware
polished every monday–Polona Oblak
a sonata
on the concert Steinway
played to the moon–Lorin Ford
dragonflies hover
by the swaying reeds–Karen Cesar
slight hum
of a drone
in fog–Alice Frampton
the atmosphere
thick with teenage pheromones–Norman Darlington
I stumble
trying to reply
“I plight thee my troth.”–Paul MacNeil
thinking of a red wig
during chemo–Asni Amin
the woodland
of silent stories
and shadow–Alan Summers
he makes a wish
to become real–Marion Clarke
each mirror reflects
only the cool moon
rising–kris moon
freshly-caught fish
sizzles in the pan–Aalix Roake
a wealthy prince
exiled in Nigeria
soliciting my help–Christopher Patchel
sugar plum fairy came
and hit the streets…–Jennifer Sutherland
a milky nimbus
at dusk
beneath the cherry tree–Scott Mason
pulling in spring clouds
with a telephoto lens–Dru Philippou
plain truth
of a skylark’s
song–Stella Pierides
our yoga instructor
tells us to breathe–Priscilla Van Valkenburgh
smoldering dung cakes
burning in the blackened pit
flavors the curry–Betty Shropshire
the family’s grudge
celebrates a century–batsword
first snowfall
covering little by little
all the dirt–Vasile Moldovan
scraping the ice rink
of blood, sweat and tears–Carole MacRury
the sting
of a paper cut
on her tongue–Terri French
Something wrong here. Didn’t I see stride 26 posted yesterday?
Oops! Withdraw that. . .how about
the old flowering plum
is in love again
in the garden
the old flowering plum
is in love again
his nails make
her abdominals quiver
origami hang
by the bed
I ogle his derrière
as he bends for the news
the quarterback struts downfield
fondling the cheerleader’s heart
Dear John, Thank you. I understand better. I’ve been rereading what’s been written so far often, to see if I can write something that adds to the flow of the piece, while also following the rules for a verse. I love to learn.
I’ve gotten the sense from your teaching and revisions in comments that the goal is to have variety and not repeat too much. So I guess the rereading so far is good from that viewpoint.
I arrived later here! I went back to some of your earlier posts and believe it was there that I understood a little more that the cut is between the verses, and so the rule about writing verses without a cut does make sense to me now.
The challenge of thinking about several factors at one time is wonderful. When I helped train teachers in special education, I’d say to understand a child’s difficulty in an area by thinking about what’s hard for them as teachers. To keep learning, to remember those feelings.
I understand your response – “not a narrative form, not a story.”
Thank you, Ellen
the dance we dance
back and forth
parchment on a pillow
with a new leash and collar
” I’m interested to learn how the renku as a whole works, or will read…”
Ellen Grace Olinger
This is a real challenge when we are new to renku. It is not a narrative form, not a story. Some readers will instinctively attempt to impose a story line on it. But it is not intended to be a story, any more than the daily “nextness” of life is a story, even though we instinctively attempt to impose a narrative on it, too. Since this is the case, reading a renku can be vexing for readers who don’t know what is behind it. I think I may have said in an earlier post that the main value in writing a renku is in the experience of writing it. I see the finished work as something like the box score of a baseball game. For one who knows how to read a box score and cares to use their imagination, it can somewhat recreate the game. But this is no substitute for having been there during the game, as a spectator or a player.
the soft kiss accents
deeply wrinkled faces
wearing love like an
old worn coat
parchment on the pillow
with instructions to strip
she wonders if her bed
is comfortable enough
she asks a pupil
to deliver her note
will he really be
the right one?
the sting
of a paper cut
on her tongue
– Terri French
Revision note: The poem I wrote yesterday, “hearts printed on/the family tablecloth,” repeats “family,” a word batsword used in “the family’s grudge/celebrates a century.”
Just beginning here, and was thinking of overall progression in terms of a relationship moving from a grudge to being able to share a meal, and the hearts on the cloth being a hint of forgiveness or inspiration.
So perhaps:
hearts printed
on an old tablecloth
as a love verse that has weathered a few things.
Just an idea, a question. I’m interested to learn how the renku as a whole works, or will read, along with the requirements for each verse – something that can’t be known so far! Thanks, Ellen
his kiss goes all the way
to the back of my throat
his side, her side
ends with a furious kiss
a lover’s apology
written across the sky
Dear John
Joe and I are engaged
the sting
of a paper cut
on her tongue
– Terri French
hearts printed on
the family tablecloth
he insists on a breath mint
before each kiss
insisting on Listerine
before a kiss
guileless in nothing but skin
with the kids away for now
guileless shrug at the late hour
of another boys’ night out
the sting
of a paper cut
on her tongue
–Terri French
an arrow shoots
from Cupid’s bow
the sting
of a paper cut
on her tongue
-Terri French
the last love letter
remains unopened
Vasile Moldovan
the sting
of a paper cut
on her tongue
–Terri French
kissing it better
between Marilyn’s legs
– Sandra Simpson
or
kissing it better
under Marilyn’s skirt
– Sandra Simpson
http://www.dailynews.com/arts-and-entertainment/20140402/marilyn-monroe-statue-to-leave-palm-springs-for-new-jersey-today
the sting
of a paper cut
on her tongue
–Terri French
still a turn on, but that
Mae West Lips sofa …
– Sandra Simpson
but he’s still a turn on
– Sandra Simpson
the sting
of a paper cut
on her tongue
–Terri French
he kisses it better
in Rodin’s garden
– Sandra Simpson
the sting
of a paper cut
on her tongue
– Terri French
vows past memory
at the nursing home
the sting
of a paper cut
on her tongue
– Terri French
these words from illness
and not the true soul
slightly revised:
the sting
of a paper cut
on her tongue
–Terri French
his false lover’s words
dripping with honey
in the honeymoon
only pretty words
the sting
of a paper cut
on her tongue
-Terri French
love of my life
don’t leave me
– Freddie Mercury – Queen
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vNsEEvRMtGI
the sting
of a paper cut
on her tongue
–Terri French
a false lover’s words
dripping with honey
the sting
of a paper cut
on her tongue
– Terri French
we keep her memories
of Dad alive and well
she hissed
that it would never last
“it will never last”
she hissed
the sting
of a paper cut
on her tongue
impressed by the style
of his linen suit
the sting
of a paper cut
on her tongue
itching to meet whilst
pressing the doorbell
the sting
of a paper cut
on her tongue
amorous declarations
left unsealed
the sting
of a paper cut
on her tongue
headlines highlight
their secret rendezvous
the sting
of a paper cut
on her tongue
in every language
the same old motive
the sting
of a paper cut
on her tongue
-Terri French
romancing my itch
with crimson veronicas
-Patrick Sweeney
Forgot about the previous marriage verse.
another try
at speed dating
another marriage proposal
gone viral
tears in his eyes he
walks away empty-handed
a kiss in the rain
sliding down her neck
the sting
of a paper cut
on her tongue
–Terri French
friends turn a blind eye
to their office romance
the sting
of a paper cut
on her tongue
–Terri French
his mistress snubbed
by the country club set
a cheeky notice
via email
the sting
of a paper cut
on her tongue
– Terri French
used books signed
for someone special
the sting
of a paper cut
on her tongue
– Terri French
a kind card
made from papyrus
head held high
minus an Adam’s apple
the sting
of a paper cut
on her tongue
–Terri French
sharing dark chocolate
strawberries one by one
Ah, the word blood was used recently, I’ll try again:
the sting
of a paper cut
on her tongue
–Terri French
a red satin dress
for their first date
the sting
of a paper cut
on her tongue
–Terri French
a blood red satin dress
for their first date
her French boyfriend
leaves her to the airport
she tells him she doesn’t mind
that he’s so much younger
‘je t’aime’ in her handwriting
on the empty cigarette packet
‘je t’aime’ scribbled
on the bistro menu
the sting
of a paper cut
on her tongue
–Terri French
leaving his dorms
no longer a virgin
the sting
of a paper cut
on her tongue
–Terri French
wondering how
his kisses would feel
novel dedication
to a new protégé
the sting
of a paper cut
on her tongue
– Terri French
they chose not to save
their war letters
back and forth texts
provokes their concupiscence
pain arousing from
secret passionate kissing
toothless old bastard
winks as he shaves
Hi Jon…This is crazy making ☺…trying not to reflect back! covering/envelop. ..aaaaargh! Still having fun!
Betty
the sting
of a paper cut
on her tongue
–Terri French
his stapler is grabbed
by the office heartthrob
novel entries
envelop another
damn..sweat/perspire…sorry sorry.
novel entries perspire
his typical mark twang
wearing his zip line
with the usual ease