Author Topic: Opening Lines: Sometimes the clock strikes thirteen  (Read 10617 times)

AlanSummers

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Opening Lines: Sometimes the clock strikes thirteen
« on: January 19, 2015, 11:21:21 AM »
.

I'm looking for haiku that start with a one line section/fragment that double as great opening lines.   This is for an essay, and a section in my book project.

I'd love to have examples given here, and a short note why you think it's a great opening line.

warm regards,

Alan

PAllen

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Re: Opening Lines: Sometimes the clock strikes thirteen
« Reply #1 on: January 19, 2015, 03:12:46 PM »
Alan,

I am intrigued.
Would you by chance have any to offer as examples?

Phil
- from each star, a point to view -

AlanSummers

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Re: Opening Lines: Sometimes the clock strikes thirteen
« Reply #2 on: January 19, 2015, 04:02:49 PM »
Hi Phil,
Alan,

I am intrigued.
Would you by chance have any to offer as examples?

Phil

I've potentially a few from people but not yet published.

So I'm really looking for any examples from people at this forum, and what they have to say.

My book productions will carry a feature where there are other voices, not just from a single editor.

Please do post haiku that you consider have exceptional opening lines though. :)

warm regards,

Alan

Anna

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Re: Opening Lines: Sometimes the clock strikes thirteen
« Reply #3 on: January 20, 2015, 06:41:43 AM »


Alan, there is this digital one liner Book by Jim Kachian,  I was browsing through it,  it has several good one-liners that are great opening lines,

but here is one from me, it may not be a haiku however:

go away moon, shining on tears
If anyone comes, / Turn into frogs, / O cooling melons!

¬Issa

AlanSummers

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Re: Opening Lines: Sometimes the clock strikes thirteen
« Reply #4 on: January 20, 2015, 07:25:41 AM »
Thanks Anna,


Alan, there is this digital one liner Book by Jim Kachian,  I was browsing through it,  it has several good one-liners that are great opening lines,

but here is one from me, it may not be a haiku however:

go away moon, shining on tears

You are the first to post an example. 

I'm specifically looking for three line haiku and how, if the one-line segment comes first, how it acts as an opening line.

Does your own example come from a one-line haiku or a three line haiku?


Yes, I have a number of books by Jim Kacian that feature one-line haiku. By the way I'll be producing a section on one-line haiku in the new book.

Here's a THF link to a few one line haiku by myself and others:
http://www.thehaikufoundation.org/forum_sm/index.php?topic=1094.15

warm regards,

Alan
« Last Edit: January 20, 2015, 10:14:51 AM by Alan Summers »

Anna

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Re: Opening Lines: Sometimes the clock strikes thirteen
« Reply #5 on: January 20, 2015, 05:49:42 PM »
Alan

it comes from a one line haiku,

it is the one liner.  Nothing beyond except thought and the visuals.


thanks.
If anyone comes, / Turn into frogs, / O cooling melons!

¬Issa

AlanSummers

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Re: Opening Lines: Sometimes the clock strikes thirteen
« Reply #6 on: January 20, 2015, 07:03:03 PM »
Hi Anna,
Alan

it comes from a one line haiku,

it is the one liner.  Nothing beyond except thought and the visuals.


thanks.

In this instance (this post) I'm really interested in 3-line haiku that start with the fragment (one-line section), but could possibly include 3-line haiku that start with the two-line phrase, whether it's just the first line of the phrase, or the whole phrase.

I'm looking forward to people posting examples. :)

warm regards,

Alan

Anna

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Re: Opening Lines: Sometimes the clock strikes thirteen
« Reply #7 on: January 20, 2015, 07:56:02 PM »
Oh-Kaaaay, got it. :]
If anyone comes, / Turn into frogs, / O cooling melons!

¬Issa

Snow Leopard

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Re: Opening Lines: Sometimes the clock strikes thirteen
« Reply #8 on: February 04, 2015, 06:05:07 PM »
Hi Alan,

Great idea. :) Not sure if any of these haiku of mine fit the bill.:


meatless month -*
the butcher too lights
butter lamps

*Meatless month: The sale and consumption of meat is banned in Bhutan during the sacred 1st and 4th months of the Bhutanese lunar calendar and other sacred occasions like the Descending Day of the Buddha, the 8th, 15th and 30th of  every month.

From the haibun titled, Will the Lotus Bloom? Frogpond Spring/Summer issue, 2011

...............

the night still to come
a comma after Venus
first crescent at dusk 

From the haibun, The Wisdom of the Dark, CHO July 1, 2012, vol 8, no 2.

................

late night radio—
side by side two spiders
walking the ceiling
From the Haibun Bad Legs and other things, Haibun Today,  Volume 5, Number 1, march 2011.

................

night border crossing --
the elephant calf holds
his mother's tail

Shamrock 26 2013, Touchstone Individual Poem Award, 2013

.............

stolen wombs -
the wind brings only dust
to the village well

 Haiku News Vol 2. No 8. 2013, also as haiga in Chrysanthemum 14 2013 and Haiku 21 anthology 2014

................

toddler's yawn . . .
in Tsechu* masks of gods
monks leap and swirl

*Tsechu (Dzongkha TSE-CHOO): Mask dance festival is a seasonal event held in spring, autumn and winter.

Simply Haiku, Spring 2011 Volume 9 No 1


Snow Leopard






AlanSummers

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Re: Opening Lines: Sometimes the clock strikes thirteen
« Reply #9 on: February 04, 2015, 06:58:03 PM »
Thanks Snow Leopard,
Hi Alan,

Great idea. :) Not sure if any of these haiku of mine fit the bill.:


meatless month -*
the butcher too lights
butter lamps

*Meatless month: The sale and consumption of meat is banned in Bhutan during the sacred 1st and 4th months of the Bhutanese lunar calendar and other sacred occasions like the Descending Day of the Buddha, the 8th, 15th and 30th of  every month.

From the haibun titled, Will the Lotus Bloom? Frogpond Spring/Summer issue, 2011

...............

the night still to come
a comma after Venus
first crescent at dusk 

From the haibun, The Wisdom of the Dark, CHO July 1, 2012, vol 8, no 2.

................

late night radio—
side by side two spiders
walking the ceiling
From the Haibun Bad Legs and other things, Haibun Today,  Volume 5, Number 1, march 2011.

................

night border crossing --
the elephant calf holds
his mother's tail

Shamrock 26 2013, Touchstone Individual Poem Award, 2013

.............

stolen wombs -
the wind brings only dust
to the village well

 Haiku News Vol 2. No 8. 2013, also as haiga in Chrysanthemum 14 2013 and Haiku 21 anthology 2014

................

toddler's yawn . . .
in Tsechu* masks of gods
monks leap and swirl

*Tsechu (Dzongkha TSE-CHOO): Mask dance festival is a seasonal event held in spring, autumn and winter.

Simply Haiku, Spring 2011 Volume 9 No 1


Snow Leopard

I'll enjoy going through these, and do post more if you'd like.

Hopefully others will follow suit too.

warm regards,

Alan

Anna

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Re: Opening Lines: Sometimes the clock strikes thirteen
« Reply #10 on: February 19, 2015, 03:43:55 AM »
I'm reading the works of Issa in the e-reader book : Issa's Best:  A Translator's Selection of Master Haiku
by David G. Lanoue, a book that took David 26 years.

In the book I stumbled upon some of Issa's famous and therefore familiar New Year's day Haiku. They surprise me with their outlook, it is common enough for me to feel the connection and yet,  it is out of the ordinary because I did not think that there was a haiku moment in something so simple.

As I write this, I'm wondering whether all simple moments are haiku-ic and whether the we complicate things because something simple is not given as much importance and is usually overlooked.

Albert Einstein is supposed to have said that if something cannot be explained to a six year old, then the something is not simple enough.  Well, Issa, simple as your haiku are, will a six year old understand them?


Here are three of Issa's haiku from David's book :

on New Year's Day
lucky! lucky!
a pale blue sky


a new year--
the same nonsense
piled on nonsense


on New Year's Day
everywhere, a corrupt world's
blossoms

and one of his famous haiku with insects in them :

a shiny-new year
has come again...
for my lice


 
If anyone comes, / Turn into frogs, / O cooling melons!

¬Issa

AlanSummers

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Re: Opening Lines: Sometimes the clock strikes thirteen
« Reply #11 on: February 19, 2015, 05:17:00 AM »
Thanks Anna! :)

All poetry has its various approaches from plain simple language conveying simple imagery and meaning, to creating a complex poem that requires closer reading.

I enjoy a variety of haiku poems from the very simple to the more complex...

e.g.

open window
the cat dozes
half in half out

Alan Summers
Publications credits: Presence 3 (1996); Woodpecker, Extra Shuttle Issue  (1997); Iron Book of British Haiku, (Iron Press  1998, Third print 2000); tinywords.com (2001); The Haiku Calendar 2002 (Snapshot Press); Raku Teapot: Haiku Book/CD (Raku Teapot Press/White Owl Publishing 2003)

Award credits:
Runner-up, The Haiku Calendar Competition 2001 (Snapshot Press)



an attic window sill
a wasp curls
into its own dust

Alan Summers

Publications credits:
Woodpecker Special Issue, Extra Shuttle Issue ISSN 1384-6094 (1997); Snapshots Four (1998); First Australian Online Haiku Anthology (1999); Haiku International 2000 Anthology, Japan ISBN 4-8161-0675-8 (2000); HaikuOz Information Kit (2001); The Omnibus Anthology, Haiku and Senryu, Hub Editions ISBN 1-903746-09-4 (2001); Cornell University, Mann Library, U.S. "Daily Haiku" poet (October 2001); tinywords.com (2002); Yomiuri Shimbun (for my birthday, September 16th 2002); The New Haiku, Snapshot Press, ISBN 978-1-903543-03-0 (2002); BeWrite.net (2003); Raku Teapot: Haiku Book and CD pub. Raku Teapot Press in association with White Owl Publishing Book: ISBN 1-891691-03-1 CD:  ISBN 1-891691-04-X (2003); First Australian Haiku Anthology, Paper Wasp ISBN 0 9577925 9 X (2003); Yomiuri Shimbun Go-Shichi-Go On-Line feature Language Lab (2005); Swot, arts & literature magazine, Bath Spa University (2007); Travelogue on World Haiku Festival 2002 , Part 2  (Akita International Haiku Network 2010); THFhaiku 2012 app

Award credit:
Highly Commended, Haiku Collection Competition, Snapshot Press (1998)
Joint 7th Best of Issue, Snapshot Five (1999)



warm day ...
the workman lunches
in his wheelbarrow

Alan Summers
Publications credits: Hermitage (2004); Snapshot Haiku Calendar (2005)

Award credit:
Runner-up, The Haiku Calendar Competition (Snapshot Press 2004)




wind-spun flakes…
a child’s world escapes
the snow globe

Alan Summers

Publication Credit:  tiny words 15.1 (around February 9th 2015)
one of two writing prompt winners for tinywords 15.1
http://tinywords.com/2014/12/27/writing-prompt-for-issue-15-1/#idc-cover

Award credit:   Joint Winner, Tinywords prompt:
http://tinywords.com/2015/02/08/19050/




hunter's moon
the runes of mice
in its wake

Alan Summers

Publication Credit:   Mainichi (Japan, December 1st 2014); ; Miriam’s Well: Poetry, Land Art, and Beyond (Miriam Sagan) https://miriamswell.wordpress.com/2015/02/17/haiku-by-alan-summers/


splitting the sky
a kingfisher lifts a branch
off the breeze

Alan Summers

Publication Credit: Mainichi Shimbun (November 20th 2014)



Ganesha's moon
the cabbie’s last customer
smells of mint tea

Alan Summers

Publication Credit:
brass bell: a haiku journal Tea Haiku / Haiku Tea issue November 2014



falling clouds
the snow gathering
bits of moon

Alan Summers

Publication Credit:   hedgerow: a journal of small poems (Issue 1, September 2014)



how does this swan
         
sleep like a diamond
     
frosted moon

Alan Summers

Publication Credit:   Frozen Butterfly (October 2014)
www.youtube.com/watch?v=_wCCcvBHqZo



fleeting clouds
my jagged man wears
an albatross

Alan Summers

fliehende Wolken
mein Zackenmann trägt
einen Albatross

German translation by Ralph Broker


Publication Credit: VerSuch ... das projekt gendai haiku 01.07.2014 Wartende wir



Forgotten rain
the wedding ring left
in a doll’s house

Alan Summers

Publication Credit: ASAHI HAIKUIST NETWORK (Japan May 30, 2014)




northern lights
a boy makes a ladder
out of his telescope 

Alan Summers

Publication Credit: Blithe Spirit 24.3 (August 2014)



blue-hammer sky
   alcohol stains
    the banjo

Alan Summers

Publication Credit: Scope vol. 60 no. 3 (FAWQ  magazine April 2014)



night of small colour

a part of the underworld

becomes one heron

Alan Summers

Publication Credit: Modern Haiku Vol. 45.2  Summer 2014



a flink of cows
the blue before a night
of falling snow

Twelve cows are a flink.

Alan Summers

Publication Credit: Blithe Spirit 2014



a mole's extra thumb-
I re-arrange all my bones
around you again

Alan Summers

Publication Credit: Scope vol. 60 no. 2 (FAWQ  magazine March 2014)



epidermal tongues-
she scales my 200 bones
on a banana leaf   

Alan Summers

Publication Credits: Pulse—voices from the heart of medicine 2014
Friday, 14 March 2014
http://pulsevoices.org/archive/haiku/343-epidermal-tongues




Night clouds
a spider shows me
the harvest moon

Alan Summers

Publication Credits:  Asahi Shimbun (Japan, October 2013)



night-tide

the rook takes back

its moon

Alan Summers

Publication Credits: Acorn #31 2013; The Moon is Broken: Juxtaposition in haiku article Scope vol. 60 no. 3 (FAWQ  magazine April 2014)



Some are simple, some simpler, some more complex.  Poets love to play with words, and something that requires close reading if it doesn't reveal its meaning in seconds is no bad thing sometimes.  We only use our brains if we allow ourselves to stretch.

warm regards,

Alan

Anna

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Re: Opening Lines: Sometimes the clock strikes thirteen
« Reply #12 on: February 21, 2015, 05:35:30 AM »

That is a very generous answer Alan. Thank you
If anyone comes, / Turn into frogs, / O cooling melons!

¬Issa

AlanSummers

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Re: Opening Lines: Sometimes the clock strikes thirteen
« Reply #13 on: April 30, 2015, 08:40:53 AM »
Thanks Anna, and look forward to haiku writers dropping in lines from their work, or from others, that they felt were great opening lines.

warm regards,

Alan

whitedove

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Re: Opening Lines: Sometimes the clock strikes thirteen
« Reply #14 on: May 07, 2015, 11:12:24 AM »
Hi, Alan  I was late noticing this post so, don't know if my response will catch your eye but here are a few of mine with unusual opening lines.

eyes of the ancestors
the twinkle
in winter stars

Publication credits: NeverEndingStory, February 2013

time travel...
the ancient music
just wind in the oaks

Publication credits:  World Haiku Review, March 2013

another dawn
I ask dad if he remembers
being Japanese

Publication credits:  Frogpond 37.1 winter issue

I have another with an unusual first line that will be published in Frogpond in their summer 2015 issue.  Good luck with your project.  Rebecca Drouilhet


 

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